In the beginning, Donald Trump created the United States of Amerika.
This has been regarded by most (specifically, God-fearing Republicans, His lordship’s most trusted servants) as the greatest gift to ever bless the universe, as per the social media posts immediately following this event. Trump had done the impossible: aside from creating a new reality (which was a very impressive feat), He demonstrated His complete and utter control over the inhabitants of that world.
This was unprecedented even by past deities, as His word was law as soon as the thought was typed, and His followers followed. Mindless. Deadpan. As rigid as stone unless called to move, these flocks of sheep and blue birds chirped and floated and nayyed by Him wherever He went. They called it magic, other times unshakeable logic: as the infatuation and admiration of His lordship’s character contributed largely to His following, the determination to succeed had fueled tribal mentality, splitting Amerika into two camps: Republicans, and Demonrats.
There was also plenty of worshipping involved; so much so, the day of creation has been designated specifically in His name: July 4th, the day Trump Trumped the nay-sayers, or The Great Covfefe for short. It was a blow-out! The Republicans reveled in the return of their Supreme Leader and their natural “enemies” to the East – for decades prior bleeding huge economic gains relative to their Western counterparts – finally saw a way out of their respective shitholes.
Backstory: His lordship returned to planet Earth as predicted in the year 2016 A.D., in the Final Judgement against the satanic, blonde-haired witch – a Demonratic leader. It was the first coup against His lordship. And as it was written in the Old Testament:
Covfefe 3:34: “No COLLUSION!”
The rest was history.
His inevitable return was to be followed by the Battle of Bulging Egos; the Conflict of Big Red Buttons, and the Fight for The Right. But not before winning against the Demonrats (again) and letting His followers know. As His lord ship didn’t just like winning, he loved winning. He just couldn’t stop winning. And he won against the Demonrats in 2016 as he did many years prior.
On Facebook and Twitter – His favorite method of communication – He made his message known: Demonrats (His favorite insult; alongside “fake news” and “enemy of the people”) are terrible, sinful creatures. Demonrats lived like savages in urban Amerika; eating and skinning one-another; with astronomically large abortion rates and a fixation to identity politics. His lordship wanted nothing other than the socialist and Muslim takeover (a notable facet of Demonratic principle, according to His lordship) of modern Amerika to be stopped – as he once again showed the world that Christianity was the only religion to ever matter, and those of left-leaning perspective bled the oppressive reddish hue of dictatorship and inadequate healthcare.
In 2017 A.D, exactly two-thousand and seventeen years after the birth of his son, Donald Trump Jr., His lordship banished one of His own from the Heavens – commander-in-angelic-chief James Comey – dooming his once closest aide to a life of mockery by Republicans (remember: the superior class) and martyrdom by the Demonrats. A bold move, to be sure, but one that produced an immediate challenge to the omnipotent presence that was His lordship, and, for the first time in recorded history since The Great Covfefe: checks and balances.
The first “check” implemented by those who didn’t fall for His lordship’s reality-bending spell of persuasion and intoxicating tirades on Twitter. The check was a group of 13. They were designated: Special Counsel for Ousting Really Dumb Deities. His lordship, having predicted this would happen since the beginning of time but continuing in His charade of complete and total surprise, had told His followers the Demonrats had once again attempted a coup.
The fight was on.